T-Minus Forty Four Days

Every so often, a person has a breakdown. I'm not talking of the sort of breakdown that leads to slit wrists and emo tears that leave black, black tear trails as dark as your soul. Those breakdowns don't lead to revelations and thoughts that make a person try to think of things that are beyond their normal conventions.

I believe, truly, that these things have a reason behind them. A rational man will never be able to accuse me of being a religious person; my system of belief doesn't exactly match with those of mainstream religions. 'Dogma' may have been a satire but in that spoof of modern thought processes there is a jewel of wisdom: You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier.

It's true. I like to think of an idea as something formless but still necessary to life, like oxygen. Everyone has ideas, don't you think? Even the most straight laced of Christians have their own ideas and interpretations of the Bible whether they admit it or not.

When beliefs come into play, it tends to come across like a hurricane that fails to die after it leaves the water and goes onto land. They rip down anything in their paths, fully visible to the naked eye and terrifying those who don't go with it. It is terribly, horribly dangerous to go and throw everything that is you into the hurricane. The sheer force will rip you apart.

Then, sometimes, just sometimes, there can be a change in the air. I don't want to say that it's exactly an idea becoming a belief so much as an idea becoming more visible, a strong breeze in the middle of the forest whipping through the leaves just quick enough for you to think you may have seen the light blue of it all.

Never say you can't see the invisible! Just because oxygen doesn't show up when you breathe (winter aside) it doesn't mean that you can't see it. Pretending that the lack of evidence means that the item in question does not exist is simply stupid. There are too many things out there that are unexplainable and unattainable to brush off.

Revelations and breakdowns have a lot in common. Both of them come with emotional walls being kicked down, quite possibly with tears and screaming involved. This isn't always the case, as long as we keep Siddhartha in mind, but they always have a purpose. It can be as simple as the need to vent, to release stress in a manner that doesn't hurt yourself. Other times, it's a way to get in touch with what may or may not be important to you through prayer, pain, pleasure, or any other ways to center a person.

When those breakdowns come, one shouldn't assume they're crazy. Take faith in what your ideas/beliefs may be. Whatever is felt is genuine. Embrace the 'crazy', my loves.

Something good is going to happen.