Two Reasons

When moving, everyone faces some doubts, right? Is this worth it, what's going to happen, oh, fucking christ, what if I blow it? Things like that. Cold feet, they would call it in the world of marriage. While I often face those doubts, when my mind is made up, I go for it, and usually no one can keep me from going through with it. I'm told it's a very Capricorn trait (along with being a bitch, a prude, money-loving, and domineering).

I almost stayed in Florida for the dojo and had Jordan asked me to stay, I would have never left. The fact makes me sad now because then I would have never met the people I did in Virginia and they're fabulous people but when I went to visit the Dojo Wednesday, Shihan gave me a loaner gi and asked me to go to classes while in town.

Today was the first class available (Thursday night was dinner with mother and sister), a 9am thing with Shihan. I woke up at 7.50 by my own accord (which is odd - my alarm never even went off) and went in a gi that didn't feel like mine and having forgotten half the moves.

Gods, I forgot how much I love that dojo. The minute I walked in, people recognized me. I had been friends with some of the kids and so immediately, a purple belt accosted me. We don't know each others names in the dojo, for he most part, but we knew each other. He was excited to see me and vice versa. Then came the brother and sister duo I am totally apeshit over. They flipped out as well, I went spazztic and basically told them they would see me once a year so they better learn to kick some ass. Cool kids.

Class hurt. I almost passed out near to the end, not to mention the anger felt at realizing I had forgotten my kata. I can handle forgetting moves but my kata?! I'd been so proud to learn red belt kata and I forgot it. Jesus. Ugh.

Either way, earlier, before I moved, I almost stayed to keep going to that dojo. I hated almost everything about my life in SW Florida, had no job until September, late September, no money, no social life outside of two friends, but I had my dojo. Shihan, Sensei, and my sempai's - they were all the best part of my week. I could groan and gripe about going and sweating and becoming disgusting before getting there but the moment I stepped into the springboard dojo ground, all grumpy disappeared. I love it, I love the punching, the kicking, how my muscles scream during, the concentration, the structure, how the teachers just want you to do the best you are able to and not focus on just being the best.

It's hard to find a good dojo and I left them. I almost stayed for them. My goodbye and last class were rough.

Had Jordan asked me to stay, my visit to Virginia would have been just that - a visit. Instead, we drank on my last night, she told me to go, hugged me, told me to go again, to find someone to love, find a job I loved, to be awesome. To not stop writing. She told me that she would try to come over the next morning and bid me a further ado (or text me if she couldn't) but she didn't. I always figured she forgot, which is fine. We'd been drinking, after all.

I'd been reminded of this in coming here. What fail. Jordan and I haven't talked much - just for an hour or so before I had to run to Harry Potter. I think I'm seeing her tomorrow? And Meggie. haven't been able to get a hold of the Megs.

Florida, all in all, has been fun. Packing is to be had on Monday but - whatever. That's Monday. Today is sushi with Ashley, grabbing some boxes, some serious Avatar watching, and then her sisters play afterwards. Today will be a good day even if I have to shove good cheer down someones throat.

Maybe pictures when I get back to Virginia, maybe not. Hopefully another post before I scramble back to the place of Cold As Hell.

Dear lord, this has been way too long

I've actually written this out about ten times before I actually type it out. Sad thing is that I haven't actually written this out by hand - the rest of them are all going to waste. What happened, may you ask?

Unemployment sucks for things to discuss. I did not want to delve into awesome things of the past anymore, nor did I want to talk about what a miserable time I was having at not having a job. But! The very last day of September, I started my current job and things sort of... exploded.

Going from waking up at one in the afternoon and doing absolutely nothing all day to getting up at six am and working forty hours a week is - well, let's just call it 'jarring', to say the very least. Mind you, I rather enjoy my job despite all the pitying looks people give me when I say that.

Yes. I enjoy my job. For the most part, the customers are awesome, the pay doesn't suck, I will get benefits (even if they will take a while), and it's possible that I will get a place to stay if I get promoted. It's no ideal, it is not what I want out of life, and if I stay there for a few years, so what? I'll get my education and I am still planning to go back to Florida to get the certification for editing and publishing. The worst part of the job are those looks, the ones that ask, well, why do you enjoy this? You poor girl, you like this so much. All of those things.

Granted, the job includes old men and delivery guys asking me out on dates or to parties but hey, whatever.

On that note: I am not 'out' at work. That's all I have to say on the subject.

With the social life front, things are fantastic. Not everyone is as thrilled as I am at the turn of events but, hot darn, I have me some friends. I met them through National Novel Writing Month so there's always the chance I may not see them frequently, if at all, after the month is over but I would like to toss my eggs into a basket for a bit. It sounds like a good basket to throw them in.

I'm not really sure if I should use names or pretend names or whatever in this journal. I don't think any of them know about the blog and if they'd appreciate being named in it. It isn't as if I'm about to start flinging mud at anyone but, to be on the safe side, I'm just going to refer to them by things that remind me of them.

There's Synopse, a totally wickedly awesome girl who knits and crochets and doesn't mind me having no clue what it is despite multiple explanations. We get along quite well and tomorrow she is going to (supposed to be) chill out with me for a few hours tomorrow night after the write in. She's quite the awesome cat. There is Herd of Boys, only one of which I can see myself hanging out with on a semi-regular basis. They tend to get very intense while in discussions, to a level I don't even see at most anime conventions. That said, if someone punched me in the throat, they may get a bit upset. There is ML, who is just badass all around and I was going to call 'Handwarmers' but realized I may confuse her with Synopse. ML is perhaps one of the coolest moms I've ever met in my age group, she's funny, super nice, and it takes a LOT to shock her. I dig it. There is Pixie and Pixie 2, two girls who have known each other for years and it shows. They're funny, very cuddly girls. And they drink! I miss drinking. There is Netbook, Science, and Handwrite as well, but I don't see them as often.

I went out to this big town center place on Thursday with Synopse. We wandered around the ice rink, grabbed some food and then chilled out in this French bakery ... place. It had yummy pastries and while we meant to write, we ended up gabbing the entire time. It was fun to just sit around and talk and have fun, get used to the cold and bounce around with it.

Saturday night was the Night of Writing Dangerously - we hit up George Mason U to write for a few hours. Homemade truffles were dispersed, words were written. Synopse and I got into a foot war that ended in a deadlock and at the end of the night, I was running around in jeans, a tank top, arm warmers, and a hat. It was truly awesome.

Tomorrow night is my last write-in here in Virginia and then I fly into Florida on Wednesday to hang out with people, pack up my stuff, and get back up here. My early December paycheck will suck so hard it's ridiculous but I've MISSED those guys. And my pets. And the people there.

I'm horribly excited. The only downside is that it means no more write-ins with the new people. But! I have either their cell numbers or IMs or both so it means our happy butts can keep in touch. Someone suggested during the NWD that we have semi-regular meetups and see what goes down, see if we can keep writing, etc, etc.

Long story/post short? Life is getting better. I'm meeting people, working, paying bills. It means not as much time online as I used to be but - really, that's not a bad thing. People on and offline have been telling me to get a life for years now. I just finally have the opportunity.

I WILL be posting soon, hopefully while in Florida.

Until next time!

I forgot how much I hate unpacking.

Packing is fine. Packing is almost fun, when you get down to it. You get to crumble newspaper and shove things forcefully into boxes, leaving your room (usually) looking neat and tidy. Not so much with unpacking.

Unpacking involves taking out that fun newspaper, your floor covered with it, open boxes, too much confusion. At least it doesn't have a time frame, right? Right. Otherwise, standing in the middle of the room saying "I don't know. I just don't know what to do" would be a whole lot more stressful. As is, I don't have a job to flock to (that search starts again tomorrow morning) so I can spend the day chugging down coffee, cutting open boxes, putting things away, and, gloriously, setting up my beloved desktop, Fido. Those boxes being open and empty also means I have surfaces in which to put things, as Fido's monitor and Shreds are taking up the only two solid, flat places to put anything of importance. Shreds and the monitor are a hell of a lot more important than setting up my maneki neko collection, I'm sorry to say.

The day will consist of unpacking boxes and putting the room in some semblance of order - the night will have me dragging in the iron and it's board in order to take apart those carefully constructed piles of clothing, ironing everything, and hanging up what absolutely needs to be hung up. My business suits are already hanging but I can see even from my bit of floor that much of it is wrinkled from our cross-country journey and being rolled into an airtight bag.

I have too many jeans. How did I not realize I owned this many jeans??

Lists are being made on the places I need to know about and where, exactly, they are. I need to find out how to get back to that lovely, huge used book store and where I can get the best sushi. The library is crucial, even though I can't get a card due to my lack of state citizen ship. Places accepting employment, where I can print up further resumes. Where's the best local hair salon (is that teaching salon any good?), how do I get back to that 'Giant' sort of food store? Coffee shops? Locally owned ones, with sofa's and cool people, a place where I can sit and meet those around my own age (or mental group, whatever).

Where can I get the best tea?

But that's for later, when my room is set up. Concentrate on the small things first, get in order. Then the big things can be tackled.

Time for me to go finish the days chore, Blog. Until next time!

The hills have... hills.

After a few days of absolutely psycho activity and frantic packing, we managed to make it out of the hometown at 9.50 yesterday morning. And, er. Well. We drove.

Have to admit, Florida, Georgia, and South Carolina all pretty much look the same: flat and with a washed out sort of light pastel green. Both my sister and I were slightly disappointed with the turn of events as, well, we felt as if we were still in Florida and that is just a very Bad Thing. Displeased, we settled down in Florence, South Carolina for the night around eight thirty last night.

Sister and I got along really well, save for about ten minutes when we were lost trying to find the hotel, but otherwise the trip was full of sisterly bonding, giggles, rave dancing in the car, and multiple pictures taken from the windows. We drove in four hour shifts - for each of hers, there was rain or heavy traffic. I got open road and clear (if slightly darkened) skies. Poor girl.

We met up with Daddio around two in the afternoon. We did things.

I will go into further detail maybe tomorrow morning but I am tired and just fell on a hardwood floor.

Virginia Lesson #1: Do not run on a hardwood floor with a computer in your hands. It throws off balance.

Virginia Lesson #2: If you MUST run with a computer in your hands, remember to fall gracefully.

I broke #1, did #2. Rock on.

Smithsonian tomorrow. So even MORE details at some point. But. SLEEP.

T-Minus Three? Days

I am so over packing. So over it. I may never sound more Valley Girl in my life than when I say that, hand flipping included. It may be nullified by the fact I say it in mis-matched knee socks, a bright green tank top, and white bandanna. Vaguely trailer trash? Probably. But it makes me feel all butch and strong and Gods know what else.

The good news of the day is that almost everything that needs to be packed is. We need to get the dishes I plan on bringing all set up, rescue the pots and pans from the storage area, and Shredder's cage has to be scrubbed clean. The cage cleaning happens tomorrow and it's going to be one of the first things put into the car. Shreds will be traveling in his little feeding tank in a pretty pillow case with a brand new shoebox hide! He will be a comfortable customer, freshly fed even so he won't be overly hungry. Well 'freshly fed' means I'm feeding him tonight so he has time to digest and poop before we scurry along. I'm sure he'll be very excited to come into the hotel with us, hitting up the states in style, the lucky little reptile.

My clothes are, once and for all, packed. I have the next few days outfits ready and my necessity bag is looking alright; it will have a few more things than planned in there as my shampoo and conditioner are the squirty types and like to irritate me.

On happier and less moving related notes, breakfast/lunch was had with Mommia, sister, and the grandparents. Granddad was having a good day - he remembered he'd seen Kelsey and Mom in pictures and that there were three of us. Grandma looked like she was going to cry near the end of things. Yeaaaaaaah, I don't blame her, really. The move hasn't hit me, not yet; it's mostly this ball of stress in my life.

Oh yeah. Yesterday. I meant to post about the move but, dear lord. It was not a good day. I wrote a list of what I needed. Lists are awesome. I love them. They're beautiful and when I'm twisted up about something, I make a list in order to sort it out. Hell, it's how I decided months back I wanted to move to Virginia - Pros and Cons, of course. The list for this particular endeavor went to shit and a mini-meltdown went into effect in the late afternoon. I stood in the center of my clustercrud of a bedroom, clutching my stuffed pig and kept repeating, "I just don't know. I don't know. What do I do?"

Fabulous time, that. It ended with Ashley's house and ice cream. We watched Clash of the Titans and Avatar until finally passing out. By the time I got home this morning, I had managed to create a vague plan in my face-place on how to put things together. The major turning point came when I packed up Fido, my desktop.

As of now boxes are taped shut, my book shelf is waiting to be stored away in the trunk of my car, things are sucked up. I'm only bringing my four favorite books ( 1984, The Giver, Enders Game, and Serial Killers) - the rest are stored away in the now-empty dresser. My art supplies are all stowed in my closet along with a good portion of the writing I've done in the entirety of my life. Looking at ones life in a multitude of boxes and PackMate bags is an odd, odd feeling.

My computer break is nearly over. I think I'm going to go start packing the dishes just to get it the hell out of my way. It's been about an hour sooo must be responsible. Loading the car starts tomorrow, after all. ... So not looking forward to it.

Until next time.

T-Minus Five Days

Whoever invented packing sucks. The same person probably invented steam, the jerk. How do people figure this sort of stuff out when they have a severely limited amount of space and places to put things?! I stand here in the middle of my room (that looks like a disaster area due to squeezing two rooms into one) and just stare at all of my belongings. My room in Virginia has no space in which to put my knick-knacks. But I like my knick-knacks and my little decorations scattered over the room.

They range from a stuffed pig to picture frames and Japanese vases, stuff from my DORM ROOM back five years ago, a whole bunch of fairy statuettes... The only ones I know I'm bringing are my Buddha figures and my maneki neko pieces. Photos are a given as I adore you all and that good stuff but. What else? What do I like enough to take with me?

I've already chosen the art supplies I'm bringing. If I have room at the end of all the packing, I'll bring more but as it stands, it's down to some drawing paper, bristol board (smooth for the win), a sketch book or two, and my Wacom Intuos 3 tablet. Books are being limited to the ones I read most often or have been meaning to read for quite a while. My collectable series are being kidnapped off - who wouldn't bring books worth 20$ each because they're no longer in print?

Maybe the most important question is how do I want the new bedroom in a new world (to me) to look? When people walk into the bedroom now, they're hit by a barrage of stuffed animals, pictures from Middle/High school, some almost ten years old. Fairy statues, monster amounts of art supplies, jewelry scattered everywhere. When I say a 'barrage of stuffed animals', I mean it. There are little plushies everywhere in my bedroom, from the shelves to the desk and vanity and, sometimes, my lamps. My art is on the walls although the stuff posted by my desk is for references while I write although one piece is, admittedly, just because I really like Minamoto no Yoshinaka. He is, like, the utter bomb.

I don't think I want my room there to be an echo of the one here. New life, new beginning, yadda yadda. Maybe just the more recent pictures on display, the older ones in the photo albums I am planning on bringing.

Ugh. Time to go stand in the middle of my room again, O Loyal Readers And Friends, and be useless just staring at my packrat ways.

Until next time.

So, I'm moving.

Like, immediately. Screw the list, I now have to prove it as I have until the 18th to get all of my stuff ready, fit into the car, and get myself and my sister to Virginia. Kelsey and her boyfriend of five years are having problems and she's moving in with us. Kelsey needs a roadtrip and she needs to see Dad because what Daddy's girl doesn't need her father when her life has changed in the span of days? Since we're already on our way there, I'm just going to stay there.

The list has gone to hell.

We found out on Saturday, I got a throat infection that made me useless until TODAY. So I have exactly six days to get everything in order and pack. I can totally do it. Clothes are important but easily squished down (can be ironed later) and the needed items are what will take precedence. Like my maneki neko collection. They're pretty damned important IMHO. :3

I'm training at the dojo for the last three classes I'm be around for, work has been informed, I have an extra three months of meds just in case, I've started looking for jobs... I need to notify the banks I'm traveling. Paperwork for the savings bonds deposit will be sent out tomorrow, hotel needs to be set up. Ashley is coming over this weekend to help me pack!

Also, someone needs to throw me a goddamn party. Just sayin'.

I cried earlier today about it. I wrote Sensei about my move and apologized for the short notice. She said to come to the main campus at some point to give me a hug goodbye. After I read that, I started bawling; there are so many people I've come to appreciate at the classes that it hurt to not be able to say farewell to them. Even though most of them are kids (I'm talking about gossiping with a twelve year old here), we've been through three months of kicks, kiyah's, knuckle push ups, and a whole slew of things I never really thought I'd do. When I showed up, only Shihan was there; Sensei Yuki had left for the day, I suppose to set up the other campus for tonights class. He told me I could come to Saturday, Monday, and Tuesday's classes for free, so I could say my goodbyes and leave on a high note. I almost cried again but I can be a stoic warrior. Sometimes.

Either way, I'm on The Meds. No longer infectious. It's a good thing.

Time to pack, O Loyal Readers. I'll be trying to update each day before I leave; who knows when I'll be able to update after I move? I'm unsure what Daddio's connection is like.

Looks like 2010 is the year of exploration after all.

Until next time!

Chica from Wisconsin, ahoy!

For the last two weeks, my best friend has been visiting from Wisconsin. Unlike my other long-distance friends, Andi and I actually met in person, here in Florida. We've been friends since the seventh grade and have known one another since fifth. If not for her (and a few other priceless loves of my life), I wouldn't have made it through that mental breakdown almost five years ago.

Just over a year ago, she moved to Wisconsin for personal reasons. We've all missed her terribly; for about six months I kept adding her to the mental list of people to invite on outings or shopping trips. Thank goodness for the Internet - we managed to keep in contact. I'm not the best person at correspondence (or remembering stuff in general) but, we somehow figured it out.

Either way - she visited. And remembered just why she doesn't want to move back to Florida. Maybe not the best move on her part to visit in the disgusting, humid depths of the summer after chilling in Wisconsin for a year but it didn't mean we were less happy to see her. We didn't get near enough drinking done (Seriously, Wisconsinites? TONE DOWN THE DRINKS. I made the 'whiskey face' each time I had a sip of my rum and coke!) but good times were had and monster amounts of talking as well. It's easier to spill ones guts and express things when not done in text and instead in a car, driving wherever in the early morning and late night.

We went to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter. Sweated like horses - no glowing to be seen. I frolicked gaily under the Suessland semi-waterfall, successfully soaking myself to the bone and making it very difficult for my pants to stay on. Due to the weight of wet jeans, pervs. We devoured butterbeer and (surprisingly good) fish and chips. Ashley got her wands and chocolate frogs.

The castle ride? Holy. Mother. Of. Siddhartha. Seriously! Just waiting in line was awesome: you were able to walk through Prof. Sprouts greenhouse then past the Potions Room, through DADA's room. The pictures of the house founders chatted about (Slytherin, my house and fave, was a complete jerk as expected) with Rowena and the Hufflepuff one being all, gay, and stuff. The ride itself had fantastic graphics and despite the fact I knew it fake, I screamed like a girlscout pissing herself at some parts.

We left contented. They fell asleep on me in the car and I nearly passed out at the wheel as a result. Fun times! There are plenty of pictures I'm hesitant about posting. Oh well. Maybe at some point, O Loyal Readers.

Andi and I talked at great length. She listened to me bitch and in vice versa. It was a lovely time. When she was to fly out of the Tampa airport, I drove her there. We ate lunch at TGIFridays, had some gelato. Two seconds before she went past security, Andi turned to me and said, "It JUST hit me. Just hit me."

Of course, I had to throw my arms around her and say, somewhat loudly, a bit tearfully, "I am going to miss you SO MUCH."

True to form, I think she told me something along the lines of stopping the foolishness - or maybe not. I'm pretty sure I was in tears. What I remember was watching her get on those stupid train things, throwing her a heart hand signal, and then bolting to the nearest bathroom to cry. It sucked.

The drive home helped me calm down. Driving always does. I played music I liked, sang loudly, and didn't get lost once - that's a big deal.

So now she's back in Wisconsin, living it up with her friends there. We all miss her (again) but if those two weeks taught me anything, it was that she is MUCH better off there than she is here. Florida holds nothing but grief and lack of jobs, humidity and hurricanes. Good for her in her escape.

Next post will my schedule for when I get out of here. Padre said, not until Thanksgiving, and I think if I wait that long I'm going to shatter like a glass figurine under a giants foot. I tried to tell him I could be there by the end of this (yes, this very week) with all the things I absolutely need and we can fly to Thanksgiving together. He doesn't think I can drive home from TAMPA let alone to Manassas which is, I hate to say it, total bullshit.

So it will be posted. Maybe I can show it to him and prove it's do-able. I've survived more things than a drive! (Knocking on wood) I think going alone would be a damn BLAST.

Until next time, blog! Hugs.

Food Om Nom Nom

I'm becoming worried on my eating status. I've started cutting portions and eating better which is, overall, a very good thing. I've gained weight, actually, and can manage to fit into my older jeans - the 6's. It turns out that fat is probably that new ass-muscle that I've been working out, bringing things away from my hips to make me not feel so disgusting.

But, when I'm alone. I don't eat. Most days when I'm alone, I'll eat nothing but granola bars (maybe two) and a lot of tea. That's it. When Mom is home and makes dinner, I'll have some small portions and eat some more the next day, if we have leftovers. I'll eat maybe half of normal restaurant portions, eat the rest the next day, ect. It's not a bad thing. I think. Well, the lack of eating entirely is. I've started eating about an hour and a half, maybe two, before I go to karate. I'd started getting dizzy.

This last weekend, I ate. I went out for sushi, ate lunch with my sister, had pizza with Jordan, things like that. We had food during the 4th of July (a holiday that was much better than expected, actually). That's when I'm with people. Alone, not so much. Without people asking me to eat, I just don't get hungry. It's not something that happens. I get caught up in cleaning or writing, maybe a series I was watching or timing when I can and cannot put my contacts in - Rosetta stone, maybe. Who knows, i just don't think of food.

Today, I had four cups of tea, about two cups of rice + broth, and two slices of toast with a little butter. It was delicious. I drank some water - have more waiting for karate and all that good stuff. I don't think I'm becoming anorexic? I'll eat when asked, I'll eat enough to be full. I take vitamins. Make my own food.

Maybe it's being cloistered up int he house like this. I'm thinking that when I can afford it, I'll fill up my tank, drive as far as I can get on half of it, and park somewhere soft, relaxing, and have my own personal little picnic. Maybe I'll even draw.

I just don't want to keep eating the same deep fried and sugared crap I had been. does this make sense? I'm not quite sure if any of it does.

Either way - I have a swim test for a lifeguard job coming up tomorrow. Tomorrow will be full of light and good for me foods.

Crude. I need to buy a bathing suit.

Bull, Horns, Ect,.

A good portion of people think horoscopes are full of bullshit. They're generalized, they don't really work, how can the planets say something about you, personally, etc., and it's come to my attention that I don't give a flying butt on what other people think of them. For myself, I believe in horoscopes, Tarot cards, the whole she-bang. Ninety-nine percent of psychics are fraud but then again, I told a kid someone was dying when his mother had just been diagnosed with terminal cancer in the eighth grade because the cards told me. I had never seen the boy before.

Lately, my horoscopes and Tarot cards have been giving me a rather specific message: get your life together and DO something about it.

On behalf of the Tarot cards, I asked them a while back the typical single-girl question of "Give me the low down on my lack of love life, please?". Usually when I ask things about myself, they like to tell me to go figure out myself, bugger off, and stop asking questions. That particular time, they told me that I am going to be alone for quite a while, go through a time filled with darkness and pain all alone and lost even when surrounded by people, and in the end it would leave me happy with a lot of paths opening up to me. I'm pretty sure this is the time of alone and lost and darkness because, whoo, my brain is not exactly the nicest place in existence but it gives hope that the crap times will end at some point.

The horoscope's have been telling me I've stopped taking control of my life and falling complacent. Too true - being laid off and strung along by the jobs (oh yeah, both of them) threw me into a clusterfuck of 'what now'. The only physical thing in life keeping me grounded right now is karate and when my three paid months come to an end in August, I don't know if I'll be able to afford more. That'll be super fun.

Every sign I'm getting says I have to DO something, CHANGE something. I have to find something to jump at and do it. Problem is that whatever's out there, I totally don't see it. The plan has been to move in with Dad but he doesn't have his own place in Virginia yet and I have about two hundred and fifty dollars in the bank period, with an insurance payment coming out in two weeks and another car payment coming up. Can't move anywhere, there are no job opportunities in this freaking place anywhere. What, exactly, am I supposed to do?

The more I write this the more I realize this is the talk of someone whose worst choices came from within and not from an outside source. So many people don't have choices on what drastic things change in their life, either from being thrown out of their homes, fired without notice, or, hell, shot in the back of the head when things get nasty. My problems have all stemmed from mental illnesses and if not for the support of those around me, I wouldn't be here anymore. There's no background, to me, on what to do or how to say it.

Maybe I'll edit a story of mine, throw it out there to see if anyone in interested. Kelly is ten times more talented than myself but seeing someone I know (and adore dearly, major hearts for Kelly) get published and go out there again is inspiration. Maybe I'll go to Virginia and chill out with Dad in his hotel, find a job there doing something. Maybe Vancouver, although I can't get any jobs out there just yet.

Maybe in learning Japanese, I'll meet a nice person from Japan and be whisked away to Tokyo or a small town or something. Who knows.

Nothing will get done unless I DO something, right? Right. Until next time!

Jesus, it's May already?!

Talk about being hit with the 'WTF' stick! Ha, I never really expected it to be May so soon. Silly, yes, but who knows how the human mind works.

The absence is due to the fact I've actually been writing lately. It's amazing. Well, the writing isn't as I'm hardly polished and it's all coming out like shining-vampire drivel but it's coming out and will be typed up to be refined. That's all that matters at this point! Mermaid story was finally spat out, currently working on Little Red Riding Hood. Fun times all around.

Mom is out of town for the weekend. I am cleaning in her absence. This is half-due to the fact I realized I liked how clean my room is (one day and one bottle of redline, baby) and the other half is because it makes HER happy, which in turn just makes life rather awesome. Hopefully it'll be somewhat shiny when she returns tomorrow.

Dad is gone to Virginia. That sort of added to the whole not wanting to post about my life bit. It sucks with him gone. My father's never been more than fifteen minutes away, whether or not I appreciated that fact when I was an itty thing. The night before he left, we ate at the local seafood place, watched Avatar at my sisters house, and around nine bid our goodbyes. Sister cried, I did not. I still haven't, a fact I still don't find disturbing. Some others do! I miss him and consider that the only thing that matters.

More projects had flown into my head, one of which is the crazy notion of learning karate. Starting Monday, I'll be signing up for three months worth of classes and working my ass off to excel at it. Discipline is something I lack. I covet it! I will get it! Etc, etc,.

I wish this post had more meat to it than the lame rambles and general on-goings. I'm going to try and document everything going down with karate, maybe with the whole 'gaining discipline' thing I'm hitting up. Either way, it'll be fun. My next post with something at least decent will hopefully be out this week.

Till next time!