But I will anyway. This blog is to document things, right? So they'll be documented, whether they're interesting or not.
Ashley and I will be doing a comic based on my short stories. She wants to do an entire series as I have about four of them in my head. One is already finished (The Little Mermaid), another is being written (Little Red Riding Hood), and Beauty and the Beast is entirely written in my brain. Rumplestiltskin is forming as is an original fairy tale. None of them will be NC17 although they'll involve nudity and, for some, dirty thoughts. Especially Riding Hood. Claude (the wolf) is something of a Sick Bastard.
Ashley's art is lovely; I have the upmost faith in her ability to portray the stories correctly. As i will be overseeing production and the stories, this quality will be assured. The short things were never meant for publication so I have no qualms on them being displayed to the public.
Linking will occur when we have it up and running, of course.
That's pretty much the only thing worth talking about. Everything else in life is mundane, right down the continued use of soy milk instead of Milk milk, Daddio enjoying his job, and being able to-
OH. I've been drawing again! Expect pictures. I like them.
Until next time and hopefully a longer post!
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Not Counting At This Moment!
The weight loss bit has been going badly but! I've gone to every class I can and most of my nasty eating habits are being weaned away. This is one journey for myself I'm refusing to give up.
My lack of updates isn't an indicator at lack of interest. Let us consider it a sign of me being Super Crazy Busy instead: life has thrown at me a job, lack of job, lack of money, karate, too much karate, not enough sleep, not enough time. No time for updating this blog, especially since I don't want to update with a single line of 'life is nuts, will post later'. Not my style! Heh.
Sensei told me that Shihan (her husband) said I impressed him a lot and that I caught on quickly. She said I was from a Tae Kwon Do background but that was for ten months over ten years ago so I seriously don't count it. My balance is horrible, my pushups are just barely the bending of elbows, my kick isn't straight, my punch is too high, I kick with my toes or heel instead of the balls of my foot.
Oh, well. I will be doing my little exercise DVD on the days I don't have class. Despite my gigantic sweet tooth, my happy butt with conquer! And write! And draw! I've been drawing more, perhaps a thing that's led to less updates. It's been keeping me busy and no less happier for it.
Work is keeping me on for an extra two weeks. Two weeks less of unemployment, two weeks more to find a summer job, and two more weeks of honest to god paychecks. Thank goodness for that as the car payments aren't getting cheaper and the car insurance is going to be coming out soon. Guh! My brain is going to explode with the stress. Knock on wood, though. Knock on wood.
Stories have been running through my face. Let's hope they get down on paper. Until next time!
My lack of updates isn't an indicator at lack of interest. Let us consider it a sign of me being Super Crazy Busy instead: life has thrown at me a job, lack of job, lack of money, karate, too much karate, not enough sleep, not enough time. No time for updating this blog, especially since I don't want to update with a single line of 'life is nuts, will post later'. Not my style! Heh.
Sensei told me that Shihan (her husband) said I impressed him a lot and that I caught on quickly. She said I was from a Tae Kwon Do background but that was for ten months over ten years ago so I seriously don't count it. My balance is horrible, my pushups are just barely the bending of elbows, my kick isn't straight, my punch is too high, I kick with my toes or heel instead of the balls of my foot.
Oh, well. I will be doing my little exercise DVD on the days I don't have class. Despite my gigantic sweet tooth, my happy butt with conquer! And write! And draw! I've been drawing more, perhaps a thing that's led to less updates. It's been keeping me busy and no less happier for it.
Work is keeping me on for an extra two weeks. Two weeks less of unemployment, two weeks more to find a summer job, and two more weeks of honest to god paychecks. Thank goodness for that as the car payments aren't getting cheaper and the car insurance is going to be coming out soon. Guh! My brain is going to explode with the stress. Knock on wood, though. Knock on wood.
Stories have been running through my face. Let's hope they get down on paper. Until next time!
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Karate/Weight Loss: Day 7
My steady winter job ends this week. This typically means I go back to my hardware store job and, luckily, it means I can tell them the times I need off for karate! I'm quite excited about that prospect, especially since I will be running around and lifting things all day with only one opportunity to really eat; Summer time is when I loose my weight. Winter I'm in an office setting, on the phone and typing the entire time.
I'm not sure why I'm getting so excited over the simple things like cleaning, exercise, and eating better. A few years back, I completely mocked these things, counted them as 'hippie' things or someone trying to be too green or preppy. Since then, I've started to use a menstrual cup - what the heck is more hippie and green than THAT!?
Now, I wake up, take my vitamins almost immediately. They include a high dose of B12 complex, two green tea extracts twice a day, and (when I can FIND it again) a once-a-day womans vitamin with some Gaurana mixed in there somewhere. Tea consists of natural sugars and soy milk with pure black teas except on the rare days I feel fancy, then it's hinted with peppermint.
Junk food is more of a habit and convenient food than anything I honestly crave. Sometimes I get hit with the overwhelming need to consume large amounts of Starburst Jellybeans because those things are so good it kills me (literally). everything else is all because of cheap and easy texture, something to eat at night when I cannot have any more tea (caffine content, sadly) and fruits just don't seem right. Other than that, things are okay.
The bad part is that I either misread my scale or I gained six pounds since last week. I'm choosing to believe I misread the scale. :) It's better for us all that way.
Karate is going wonderfully! I'm enjoying my kata and I'm learning the godawful long names. All the sempai are horribly helpful and put up with my clumsy mistakes. Bella has nothing on my butt when it comes to tripping over my own feet in turns and just trying to keep balance. My knuckles are becoming tougher, a surprising fact that pleases me. My right toe still has the blister, it's gotten bigger and has begun to toughen into what i hope is a callous. My left toe though... It's the foot I spin on the most. The blister burst but the skin under is quickly becoming stronger than the previous layer.
HA! My body is beginning to triumph!
I have never felt so motivated to be a part of an activity such as Karate. Tae Kwon Do when I was a kid was fun but that was in the mindset that I was about to go kick some other kids behind with my 'skills'. Karate, at least to me now, is about control of my body and what I tell it to do. It's becoming stronger! An adult! It's living up to my and other peoples expectations - Sensei, Y-Sensei, and the sempai are all trying so hard to help me that if I do badly, I feel I would be letting them down.
They are lovely people. I will NOT let them down! I will do my turns and keep my wrists straight, keep my shoulders squared and legs further apart. I will be able to go into the deep stance, the signature move of my dojo. In the famous words of Queen Victoria: I will be good.
Now, I'm going to do laundry and tidy my room before getting ready for class. I need to iron my gi before class tonight.
Until next time!
I'm not sure why I'm getting so excited over the simple things like cleaning, exercise, and eating better. A few years back, I completely mocked these things, counted them as 'hippie' things or someone trying to be too green or preppy. Since then, I've started to use a menstrual cup - what the heck is more hippie and green than THAT!?
Now, I wake up, take my vitamins almost immediately. They include a high dose of B12 complex, two green tea extracts twice a day, and (when I can FIND it again) a once-a-day womans vitamin with some Gaurana mixed in there somewhere. Tea consists of natural sugars and soy milk with pure black teas except on the rare days I feel fancy, then it's hinted with peppermint.
Junk food is more of a habit and convenient food than anything I honestly crave. Sometimes I get hit with the overwhelming need to consume large amounts of Starburst Jellybeans because those things are so good it kills me (literally). everything else is all because of cheap and easy texture, something to eat at night when I cannot have any more tea (caffine content, sadly) and fruits just don't seem right. Other than that, things are okay.
The bad part is that I either misread my scale or I gained six pounds since last week. I'm choosing to believe I misread the scale. :) It's better for us all that way.
Karate is going wonderfully! I'm enjoying my kata and I'm learning the godawful long names. All the sempai are horribly helpful and put up with my clumsy mistakes. Bella has nothing on my butt when it comes to tripping over my own feet in turns and just trying to keep balance. My knuckles are becoming tougher, a surprising fact that pleases me. My right toe still has the blister, it's gotten bigger and has begun to toughen into what i hope is a callous. My left toe though... It's the foot I spin on the most. The blister burst but the skin under is quickly becoming stronger than the previous layer.
HA! My body is beginning to triumph!
I have never felt so motivated to be a part of an activity such as Karate. Tae Kwon Do when I was a kid was fun but that was in the mindset that I was about to go kick some other kids behind with my 'skills'. Karate, at least to me now, is about control of my body and what I tell it to do. It's becoming stronger! An adult! It's living up to my and other peoples expectations - Sensei, Y-Sensei, and the sempai are all trying so hard to help me that if I do badly, I feel I would be letting them down.
They are lovely people. I will NOT let them down! I will do my turns and keep my wrists straight, keep my shoulders squared and legs further apart. I will be able to go into the deep stance, the signature move of my dojo. In the famous words of Queen Victoria: I will be good.
Now, I'm going to do laundry and tidy my room before getting ready for class. I need to iron my gi before class tonight.
Until next time!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Midnight Sun
I'm going to admit it, blog: I read the chapters of "Midnight Sun" Meyer had posted on her website. It had previously been a point of pride that I never read anything by her, nothing of Twilight save for brief excerpts that made me hate her for the horrid grammar and inability to lead a plot line to something interesting. Until two weeks ago it worked out well for me.
My friend purchased the comic version of twilight and in hopes of being able to 'read' it without all of Bella's irritating inner monologues and self doubts that I had been able to absorb even from the small bits I had been able to get my hands on, I actually picked the book up. It kept with all of my assumptions and expectations. Bella still came off as annoying and self centered as I had thought. Edward interested me, however slightly. A few of his lines were quite amusing.
When it came to my attention that there was a version of Twilight from Edward's point of view, I went to her website and dug it up. Even her Authors Note had me twitching: I've read too many internet-only authors who whined the same way she did, emoted and whimpered about losing interest because someone slighted them or their works. Regardless, I spent the next two days and long hours reading the damned thing.
Jasper and Alice came off as slightly badass. Edward read as something slightly less annoying than Bella with much more character development. He's very analytical and, true to claims, horribly masochistic.
I'm not about to bitch and moan about the character development (rather, lack thereof on the part of Bella and how exactly Edward got his feelings for her) but to discuss the writing style in general.
It read like a typical fanfiction. I write fanfiction on the side, I know how easy it is to slip into the cadence of simple writing and quick bursts of plot followed by weak attempts to create rich and inviting characters instead of mixing the two. Every word should move the story forward was not something Meyer seemed to learn in Creative Writing while in high school. She tries to insert large words where shorter, more precise words would have been much more appropriate in an attempt to sound like a 'real writer'. Meyer overcompensates for perceived lacking in her writing - maybe she reads too many critiques online.
If she wrote fiction for the sole purpose of posting it on the internet as opposed to charging people to -read- it, I'm sure she would have been quite popular. A truly fantastic fanfiction writer is Maldoror; if SHE wrote a novel, I would definitely purchase it and immediately. She took Gundam Wing to a believable and fantastic level in 'Freeport' and 'The Arrangement'.
Unfortunately for Meyer, fanfiction writing doesn't translate well into the real world of writing. There is a harsh and sometimes startling difference between writing for a novel with a specific audience and writing fanfiction for a specific audience. In an attempt to not insult the entire fanfiction reading community, I will word this next statement as delicately as possible: if you are writing a fanfiction for a show, series, or movie, most people are just satisfied with decent in-character depictions of already established characters and acceptable writing. It's hard to find a writer worth their salt writing fanfiction so when they do, people jump and latch on as if they were a male angler fish.
Writing for a novel is different. Unless you are writing for the Star Trek or some major fan-based novel series, you don't have a previously created plot line to work from nor do you have characters that people (fans) are automatically familiar of and know how their minds work. Everything you do is from scratch; you can't depend on people inferring everything based on what they already know of the characters of the world.
The Twilight series is written as a fanfiction. Meyer herself has stated that it was originally based on a dream she had - many stories have been, don't get me wrong. The difference between a novel based on a dream and a novel that sounds like a fanfiction based on a dream is that she gets caught up in her 'ideal' characters and refuses to let them grow through her writing. It seems to me that she has decided they are fully grown and will never become anything more, no matter how many thousands of words she may have written with them as an overly pretty backdrop to an equally pretty but poorly written plot.
While Edward's voice is sometimes very amusing (admittedly, I laughed once or twice, out loud), it cannot mask Meyer's voice. When you're reading and get the thought of, "This is actually not bad. I wonder how the original author would have written it. -Oh." there is something wrong.
Long story short, I do not think I'm going to bother with reading any more of Meyer's works. Not only does the underlying idea of systematic abuse, obsessive stalking*, and changing yourself for the 'perfect' guy upset me as a person but her style of writing, her voice, and her grammar simply drives me up the wall.
At least I gave it a chance. I can now honestly say 'It's not for me' and not have people try to shoot me down by asking if I have ever read it. Rock on.
Until next time, bloggers.
*To counter that, Edward -does- tweak a little at acting like a stalker.
My friend purchased the comic version of twilight and in hopes of being able to 'read' it without all of Bella's irritating inner monologues and self doubts that I had been able to absorb even from the small bits I had been able to get my hands on, I actually picked the book up. It kept with all of my assumptions and expectations. Bella still came off as annoying and self centered as I had thought. Edward interested me, however slightly. A few of his lines were quite amusing.
When it came to my attention that there was a version of Twilight from Edward's point of view, I went to her website and dug it up. Even her Authors Note had me twitching: I've read too many internet-only authors who whined the same way she did, emoted and whimpered about losing interest because someone slighted them or their works. Regardless, I spent the next two days and long hours reading the damned thing.
Jasper and Alice came off as slightly badass. Edward read as something slightly less annoying than Bella with much more character development. He's very analytical and, true to claims, horribly masochistic.
I'm not about to bitch and moan about the character development (rather, lack thereof on the part of Bella and how exactly Edward got his feelings for her) but to discuss the writing style in general.
It read like a typical fanfiction. I write fanfiction on the side, I know how easy it is to slip into the cadence of simple writing and quick bursts of plot followed by weak attempts to create rich and inviting characters instead of mixing the two. Every word should move the story forward was not something Meyer seemed to learn in Creative Writing while in high school. She tries to insert large words where shorter, more precise words would have been much more appropriate in an attempt to sound like a 'real writer'. Meyer overcompensates for perceived lacking in her writing - maybe she reads too many critiques online.
If she wrote fiction for the sole purpose of posting it on the internet as opposed to charging people to -read- it, I'm sure she would have been quite popular. A truly fantastic fanfiction writer is Maldoror; if SHE wrote a novel, I would definitely purchase it and immediately. She took Gundam Wing to a believable and fantastic level in 'Freeport' and 'The Arrangement'.
Unfortunately for Meyer, fanfiction writing doesn't translate well into the real world of writing. There is a harsh and sometimes startling difference between writing for a novel with a specific audience and writing fanfiction for a specific audience. In an attempt to not insult the entire fanfiction reading community, I will word this next statement as delicately as possible: if you are writing a fanfiction for a show, series, or movie, most people are just satisfied with decent in-character depictions of already established characters and acceptable writing. It's hard to find a writer worth their salt writing fanfiction so when they do, people jump and latch on as if they were a male angler fish.
Writing for a novel is different. Unless you are writing for the Star Trek or some major fan-based novel series, you don't have a previously created plot line to work from nor do you have characters that people (fans) are automatically familiar of and know how their minds work. Everything you do is from scratch; you can't depend on people inferring everything based on what they already know of the characters of the world.
The Twilight series is written as a fanfiction. Meyer herself has stated that it was originally based on a dream she had - many stories have been, don't get me wrong. The difference between a novel based on a dream and a novel that sounds like a fanfiction based on a dream is that she gets caught up in her 'ideal' characters and refuses to let them grow through her writing. It seems to me that she has decided they are fully grown and will never become anything more, no matter how many thousands of words she may have written with them as an overly pretty backdrop to an equally pretty but poorly written plot.
While Edward's voice is sometimes very amusing (admittedly, I laughed once or twice, out loud), it cannot mask Meyer's voice. When you're reading and get the thought of, "This is actually not bad. I wonder how the original author would have written it. -Oh." there is something wrong.
Long story short, I do not think I'm going to bother with reading any more of Meyer's works. Not only does the underlying idea of systematic abuse, obsessive stalking*, and changing yourself for the 'perfect' guy upset me as a person but her style of writing, her voice, and her grammar simply drives me up the wall.
At least I gave it a chance. I can now honestly say 'It's not for me' and not have people try to shoot me down by asking if I have ever read it. Rock on.
Until next time, bloggers.
*To counter that, Edward -does- tweak a little at acting like a stalker.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Karate/Weight Loss/Lack of Being Fat: Day 2
Sore in places I didn't know existed previously. I had all intents of coming home and practicing my kata last night; on the way home, the languid driving, it sapped me of any and all adrenaline. It was sort of disgusting. On that note: I'm glad I didn't. I'm horribly sore today and still feeling that euphoric post-rush, enough to be cleaning like a maniac.
Skin from my big toe and the top of my foot (top of the underside? Hell if I know) peeled off in the duration of class from the extensive turning. My knuckles are forming callouses - haha, well, big red spots with some skin coming off of there as well. Sensei didn't let me stop leaning on them even when I said it hurt. I understood why, even then, but g'damn, it hurt. Yes, it pained me to the extent where I actually swore in a blog post, something I've been trying not to do. Through the course of the night, two elongated oval blisters swelled up on my big toe, dead center of it. Again, from spinning side to side, thumbs are sore from the tight hold I had to have on my fists.
In short, it's still fantastic. I informed Sensei that until I was free Saturday mornings, I would be attending the classes Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. He was pleased.
I'm still having problems with the language. Sensei is American born and Caucasian, despite spending most of his adult life in Japan; his wife is also a black belt, Japanese born and raised. But the names!! Forward front steps with a high punch are called something with long, complicated phrases in Japanese. I'm trying to learn but I still can't pronounce them or even hope to remember them all just yet. Even my kata - Shihonensi Kata? I know 'shihonen' is in there somewhere! I will ask again on Monday.
In the meantime, I will be practicing my kata at home along with squaring my shoulders when I punch or kick, a big problem of mine. I don't place my legs far enough apart or bend my knees enough, my wrists are always up too high, I need to straighten them.I'm hoping by next class I will be able to show Sensei Yuki improvement! I want to be a good student. They're traditionally tough teachers. It. Is. Fantastic.
I need to go and clean now. Until next time!
Skin from my big toe and the top of my foot (top of the underside? Hell if I know) peeled off in the duration of class from the extensive turning. My knuckles are forming callouses - haha, well, big red spots with some skin coming off of there as well. Sensei didn't let me stop leaning on them even when I said it hurt. I understood why, even then, but g'damn, it hurt. Yes, it pained me to the extent where I actually swore in a blog post, something I've been trying not to do. Through the course of the night, two elongated oval blisters swelled up on my big toe, dead center of it. Again, from spinning side to side, thumbs are sore from the tight hold I had to have on my fists.
In short, it's still fantastic. I informed Sensei that until I was free Saturday mornings, I would be attending the classes Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. He was pleased.
I'm still having problems with the language. Sensei is American born and Caucasian, despite spending most of his adult life in Japan; his wife is also a black belt, Japanese born and raised. But the names!! Forward front steps with a high punch are called something with long, complicated phrases in Japanese. I'm trying to learn but I still can't pronounce them or even hope to remember them all just yet. Even my kata - Shihonensi Kata? I know 'shihonen' is in there somewhere! I will ask again on Monday.
In the meantime, I will be practicing my kata at home along with squaring my shoulders when I punch or kick, a big problem of mine. I don't place my legs far enough apart or bend my knees enough, my wrists are always up too high, I need to straighten them.I'm hoping by next class I will be able to show Sensei Yuki improvement! I want to be a good student. They're traditionally tough teachers. It. Is. Fantastic.
I need to go and clean now. Until next time!
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Karate: Day 1
I have another twenty minutes before I have to hit up the dojo so what better time to make a blog post?
My first Karate class was Monday. I'm starting off at a size 8, 141 lbs, 5'5". My goal is to be 130 lbs and be able to get back into my damned size 6 skinny jeans - I had been able to when I was 132.
On the days I'm not at the Dojo, I'm walking the dogs and trying to exercise at home. All soda and junk food's been cut out of my diet, portions have been made smaller. Depressing, right?! I've even switched to soy milk! (At least, at work. Mom just bought a half gallon of 2% and putting that to waste would make me wince.)
I may go to the Dojo three times a week. Ideally, this will be Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday thing - get some in there for every portion of the week! This week is only Monday and Wednesday as I work Saturday morning (when the class takes place) and was frankly in too much pain to go yesterday. I promised Sensei Yuki that I would be in the class today, which makes me face the pain like a woman: with a smile and perfectly done hair. The severely scraped knee helps too but I'm learning to fall gracefully (read: without killing myself) and to do knuckle-push ups.
She says all the names of the moves in fast Japanese. I find it hard to keep up as my Japanese vocabulary is limited to a few words although it thankfully includes 'arigatou' so I can thank her properly. I don't care if that's spelled correctly or not. She says my ki-yah is fantastic; the other students thought I was her while I practiced my blocking in the back. They were doing katas! Haha!
It's already a favorite part of my week. While it's nerve wracking, being the only person there not knowing what's going down, it's also really fun to be taught things. Some of students are only eleven or twelve; one twelve year old girl turned to me before a certain exercise and said, very frankly, "This is going to hurt."
Fabulous.
Here's to weight loss and getting in shape. Updates on the size/weight will be each Wednesday. Let's see what I can get to before July 3rd! That'll be judgement day for sure as sister and I have a bet going down.
Time to get ready, everyone. Until next time!
My first Karate class was Monday. I'm starting off at a size 8, 141 lbs, 5'5". My goal is to be 130 lbs and be able to get back into my damned size 6 skinny jeans - I had been able to when I was 132.
On the days I'm not at the Dojo, I'm walking the dogs and trying to exercise at home. All soda and junk food's been cut out of my diet, portions have been made smaller. Depressing, right?! I've even switched to soy milk! (At least, at work. Mom just bought a half gallon of 2% and putting that to waste would make me wince.)
I may go to the Dojo three times a week. Ideally, this will be Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday thing - get some in there for every portion of the week! This week is only Monday and Wednesday as I work Saturday morning (when the class takes place) and was frankly in too much pain to go yesterday. I promised Sensei Yuki that I would be in the class today, which makes me face the pain like a woman: with a smile and perfectly done hair. The severely scraped knee helps too but I'm learning to fall gracefully (read: without killing myself) and to do knuckle-push ups.
She says all the names of the moves in fast Japanese. I find it hard to keep up as my Japanese vocabulary is limited to a few words although it thankfully includes 'arigatou' so I can thank her properly. I don't care if that's spelled correctly or not. She says my ki-yah is fantastic; the other students thought I was her while I practiced my blocking in the back. They were doing katas! Haha!
It's already a favorite part of my week. While it's nerve wracking, being the only person there not knowing what's going down, it's also really fun to be taught things. Some of students are only eleven or twelve; one twelve year old girl turned to me before a certain exercise and said, very frankly, "This is going to hurt."
Fabulous.
Here's to weight loss and getting in shape. Updates on the size/weight will be each Wednesday. Let's see what I can get to before July 3rd! That'll be judgement day for sure as sister and I have a bet going down.
Time to get ready, everyone. Until next time!
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Writing In Capitol Letters
One more time, blog! Another day, another ten million words. Or a thousand, whichever would be best to describe the way things are going. My mind has lately been plagued by Writing.
Capitol letters indeed! Why the capitol letters, one may ask, as it is very much -not- proper grammar. Has Erin lost her mind? Is she going to start spouting off things in incorrect English, more swear words than she already does? Horror! The Apocalypse! All of these horrid things, etc, etc!
It's capitalized as a title of what's going on through my messed up little brain. For years, the act of putting words to paper or screen while somehow forming a coherent and intelligent story has been the main focus of my life. Most of those words came out to utter crap, a story in the barest sense of the phrase with trite and unrealistic characters akin to glittering vampires and blood mixed with chocolate. Sometimes I knew immediately these things should never see the light of day and the characters should be burnt at the stake of Writing in a tribute and sacrifice to whatever gods actually pay attention to the inane blathering of some fifteen year old girl.
I'm twenty-three. My first story was a coloring book I did in the second grade with the help of a boy in class. It exploded from there. According to my parents I always had an overactive imagination and a glare that could tell even the most oblivious person that I wanted them to eff off and decompose somewhere dank and hot.
At thirteen I wrote a sixty page story about Amazon warriors and a guy with a plot I can't even remember. Fifteen came Ten of Light, a story that introduced a few of my favorite characters to date; this includes but is not limited to do Jacquiline Bardot. She was called Jackiline Barduo at that time and tended towards cross-dressing to fit in at her school due to a larger and more masculine stature. She's had the same personality although the back-story, motivation, appearance and overall story have changed drastically (thank god).
That story was also the last story I wrote that I allowed someone I knew face-to-face to read. When fronted with the only critique I remembered of "They swear a lot", I stopped handing off my pages of chicken scratch. Posting online came about, along with the story "Normal" about a gay 'coming of age' tale that (typically, for me) included swearing, violence, and a small curvy woman and large man combo, along with a bad attempt at historical fiction revolving around one of Jesus' sisters.
Normal, Water Age, Priests Tale, 2081 - all of them came from the smallest ideas and every single one of those stupid stories has infested my brain. They have all had altered plot lines, different side characters and underlying tones.
Text-based role-playing unfortunately hindered my writing for several years. It wasn't until National Novel Writing Month '06 that I actually got back into plotting, writing, trying to develop characters that weren't some distorted version of myself (Hello, Ian, Adali, and Jacqui!). Melosa and Atia flew into my brain, my very first lesbian couple I'd ever written. Their story bombed but Hanami and Ha'Neul came into play. I still intend to finish their story at some point.
Creative Writing kicked me into gear. After a horrible CW teacher back in High School, University had been held to high expectations. My teacher was one of the best I've ever come across before and since. She pushed for students to edit and supported my ruthless and cut throat method of editing, with gashes and insults and demanding changes be made lest I hurl high lighters at them for comma errors and boring paragraphs.
Like all good things, Creative Writing I and II came to an end with each semester. For a long time after, I couldn't even pick up a pen. What was the motivation? I couldn't post these things online for critique, not if I wanted them published at some point in time. The former students of my class, the ones who made a competition of who could receive the least amount of bad reviews from me, were busy and didn't have time to get to everyone. I missed it.
What does all this blathering have to do with anything? It has nothing to do with writing, nothing to do with this blog post, at least, i think so. It's the prologue to what's about to go down, the backdrop and back story to my future career.
In just the last few months, the bug has come back. My brain kicked back into gear and began to thrust stories, words back into my consciousness. The itch in my fingers returned, forcing me to take hold of my pen, write without planning except vague ideas of what would happen. Writing on the computer is rough for me. The words fly so quickly from brain to fingers that I don't have a chance to think about what it is I'm actually writing.
Maybe it's the B12 vitamins I started to take with my typical BPD meds in the morning or the idea of I WILL change my life, which things are finally moving in the order of where I want to be. Virginia is not the place I ever imagined moving to, especially not so close to the big cities, but more and more the idea appeals to me: it's beautiful up there.
Plans are coming together. With that, so are my stories. It seems stress is the key factor to getting writers block for me. Who would've guessed. (Why yes, yes that is sarcasm. Thank you so much for noticing) I've even finished a short story! - Although I have no friggin' idea where the first three pages went to. Currently trying to dig those things up.
Karate starts tomorrow. I have a sinking feeling I will be up all tomorrow night writing; adrenaline rushes and working out always makes me utterly filled with inspiration. I'm starting this weighing 151 lbs, having putting 19 since I 'finished' loosing it, and a size 8/10. My goal is 130, to be in shape, to be able to fit into the clinging purple top and the skinny dark blue jeans I bought as my goal outfit.
This entire process will be filled with writing, work, hopefully some school to get that damned AA. Writing is directly affected by my daily ongoing to life. I -will- write at least a thousand words to day, I will, and I'll win this year’s NaNoWriMo again.
I will I will I will!
Writing is once again going to be a major force in my life. With the pen to paper, the fingers to the keys, the imagination to the over drive. I may never be published, never be polished or witty or interesting enough to be out there, but the writing will be done.
Read on, fellow bloggers! Never let your fear of inadequacy get you down! Go and do what it is your passion falls to, be what you want to be! Believe! Write!
Go and be awesome! I say it is so! Write, write, write!
Till next time!
Capitol letters indeed! Why the capitol letters, one may ask, as it is very much -not- proper grammar. Has Erin lost her mind? Is she going to start spouting off things in incorrect English, more swear words than she already does? Horror! The Apocalypse! All of these horrid things, etc, etc!
It's capitalized as a title of what's going on through my messed up little brain. For years, the act of putting words to paper or screen while somehow forming a coherent and intelligent story has been the main focus of my life. Most of those words came out to utter crap, a story in the barest sense of the phrase with trite and unrealistic characters akin to glittering vampires and blood mixed with chocolate. Sometimes I knew immediately these things should never see the light of day and the characters should be burnt at the stake of Writing in a tribute and sacrifice to whatever gods actually pay attention to the inane blathering of some fifteen year old girl.
I'm twenty-three. My first story was a coloring book I did in the second grade with the help of a boy in class. It exploded from there. According to my parents I always had an overactive imagination and a glare that could tell even the most oblivious person that I wanted them to eff off and decompose somewhere dank and hot.
At thirteen I wrote a sixty page story about Amazon warriors and a guy with a plot I can't even remember. Fifteen came Ten of Light, a story that introduced a few of my favorite characters to date; this includes but is not limited to do Jacquiline Bardot. She was called Jackiline Barduo at that time and tended towards cross-dressing to fit in at her school due to a larger and more masculine stature. She's had the same personality although the back-story, motivation, appearance and overall story have changed drastically (thank god).
That story was also the last story I wrote that I allowed someone I knew face-to-face to read. When fronted with the only critique I remembered of "They swear a lot", I stopped handing off my pages of chicken scratch. Posting online came about, along with the story "Normal" about a gay 'coming of age' tale that (typically, for me) included swearing, violence, and a small curvy woman and large man combo, along with a bad attempt at historical fiction revolving around one of Jesus' sisters.
Normal, Water Age, Priests Tale, 2081 - all of them came from the smallest ideas and every single one of those stupid stories has infested my brain. They have all had altered plot lines, different side characters and underlying tones.
Text-based role-playing unfortunately hindered my writing for several years. It wasn't until National Novel Writing Month '06 that I actually got back into plotting, writing, trying to develop characters that weren't some distorted version of myself (Hello, Ian, Adali, and Jacqui!). Melosa and Atia flew into my brain, my very first lesbian couple I'd ever written. Their story bombed but Hanami and Ha'Neul came into play. I still intend to finish their story at some point.
Creative Writing kicked me into gear. After a horrible CW teacher back in High School, University had been held to high expectations. My teacher was one of the best I've ever come across before and since. She pushed for students to edit and supported my ruthless and cut throat method of editing, with gashes and insults and demanding changes be made lest I hurl high lighters at them for comma errors and boring paragraphs.
Like all good things, Creative Writing I and II came to an end with each semester. For a long time after, I couldn't even pick up a pen. What was the motivation? I couldn't post these things online for critique, not if I wanted them published at some point in time. The former students of my class, the ones who made a competition of who could receive the least amount of bad reviews from me, were busy and didn't have time to get to everyone. I missed it.
What does all this blathering have to do with anything? It has nothing to do with writing, nothing to do with this blog post, at least, i think so. It's the prologue to what's about to go down, the backdrop and back story to my future career.
In just the last few months, the bug has come back. My brain kicked back into gear and began to thrust stories, words back into my consciousness. The itch in my fingers returned, forcing me to take hold of my pen, write without planning except vague ideas of what would happen. Writing on the computer is rough for me. The words fly so quickly from brain to fingers that I don't have a chance to think about what it is I'm actually writing.
Maybe it's the B12 vitamins I started to take with my typical BPD meds in the morning or the idea of I WILL change my life, which things are finally moving in the order of where I want to be. Virginia is not the place I ever imagined moving to, especially not so close to the big cities, but more and more the idea appeals to me: it's beautiful up there.
Plans are coming together. With that, so are my stories. It seems stress is the key factor to getting writers block for me. Who would've guessed. (Why yes, yes that is sarcasm. Thank you so much for noticing) I've even finished a short story! - Although I have no friggin' idea where the first three pages went to. Currently trying to dig those things up.
Karate starts tomorrow. I have a sinking feeling I will be up all tomorrow night writing; adrenaline rushes and working out always makes me utterly filled with inspiration. I'm starting this weighing 151 lbs, having putting 19 since I 'finished' loosing it, and a size 8/10. My goal is 130, to be in shape, to be able to fit into the clinging purple top and the skinny dark blue jeans I bought as my goal outfit.
This entire process will be filled with writing, work, hopefully some school to get that damned AA. Writing is directly affected by my daily ongoing to life. I -will- write at least a thousand words to day, I will, and I'll win this year’s NaNoWriMo again.
I will I will I will!
Writing is once again going to be a major force in my life. With the pen to paper, the fingers to the keys, the imagination to the over drive. I may never be published, never be polished or witty or interesting enough to be out there, but the writing will be done.
Read on, fellow bloggers! Never let your fear of inadequacy get you down! Go and do what it is your passion falls to, be what you want to be! Believe! Write!
Go and be awesome! I say it is so! Write, write, write!
Till next time!
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Jesus, it's May already?!
Talk about being hit with the 'WTF' stick! Ha, I never really expected it to be May so soon. Silly, yes, but who knows how the human mind works.
The absence is due to the fact I've actually been writing lately. It's amazing. Well, the writing isn't as I'm hardly polished and it's all coming out like shining-vampire drivel but it's coming out and will be typed up to be refined. That's all that matters at this point! Mermaid story was finally spat out, currently working on Little Red Riding Hood. Fun times all around.
Mom is out of town for the weekend. I am cleaning in her absence. This is half-due to the fact I realized I liked how clean my room is (one day and one bottle of redline, baby) and the other half is because it makes HER happy, which in turn just makes life rather awesome. Hopefully it'll be somewhat shiny when she returns tomorrow.
Dad is gone to Virginia. That sort of added to the whole not wanting to post about my life bit. It sucks with him gone. My father's never been more than fifteen minutes away, whether or not I appreciated that fact when I was an itty thing. The night before he left, we ate at the local seafood place, watched Avatar at my sisters house, and around nine bid our goodbyes. Sister cried, I did not. I still haven't, a fact I still don't find disturbing. Some others do! I miss him and consider that the only thing that matters.
More projects had flown into my head, one of which is the crazy notion of learning karate. Starting Monday, I'll be signing up for three months worth of classes and working my ass off to excel at it. Discipline is something I lack. I covet it! I will get it! Etc, etc,.
I wish this post had more meat to it than the lame rambles and general on-goings. I'm going to try and document everything going down with karate, maybe with the whole 'gaining discipline' thing I'm hitting up. Either way, it'll be fun. My next post with something at least decent will hopefully be out this week.
Till next time!
The absence is due to the fact I've actually been writing lately. It's amazing. Well, the writing isn't as I'm hardly polished and it's all coming out like shining-vampire drivel but it's coming out and will be typed up to be refined. That's all that matters at this point! Mermaid story was finally spat out, currently working on Little Red Riding Hood. Fun times all around.
Mom is out of town for the weekend. I am cleaning in her absence. This is half-due to the fact I realized I liked how clean my room is (one day and one bottle of redline, baby) and the other half is because it makes HER happy, which in turn just makes life rather awesome. Hopefully it'll be somewhat shiny when she returns tomorrow.
Dad is gone to Virginia. That sort of added to the whole not wanting to post about my life bit. It sucks with him gone. My father's never been more than fifteen minutes away, whether or not I appreciated that fact when I was an itty thing. The night before he left, we ate at the local seafood place, watched Avatar at my sisters house, and around nine bid our goodbyes. Sister cried, I did not. I still haven't, a fact I still don't find disturbing. Some others do! I miss him and consider that the only thing that matters.
More projects had flown into my head, one of which is the crazy notion of learning karate. Starting Monday, I'll be signing up for three months worth of classes and working my ass off to excel at it. Discipline is something I lack. I covet it! I will get it! Etc, etc,.
I wish this post had more meat to it than the lame rambles and general on-goings. I'm going to try and document everything going down with karate, maybe with the whole 'gaining discipline' thing I'm hitting up. Either way, it'll be fun. My next post with something at least decent will hopefully be out this week.
Till next time!
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