Neglect, neglect, neglect.

Poor journal, I've left you high and dry. You'd think since no life or job exists for me, I'd be able to post more. Thing is - with my life the way it is, there's very little for me to post about until after or before the weekends.

Weekends are when my dad is home all day and we actively go out and do things. No matter what I act like, I actually have a lot of fun. Sometimes during the day after we haven't eaten for a while, my blood sugar absolutely plummets and it leaves me either grumpy. If we're driving past a lot of green things, I stare out the window because, hello, Florida doesn't have green like this place has.

Have I posted pictures of this freaking green? ... No?

GREEN!

It's a rare thing, folks. Not so much here but for a Florida girl? Totally.

I was just told that apples are now in season. I think it's time for me to try to go with that interest I've always had with more extensive baking. Poor Daddio may soon be bombarded by a slew of apple-related deliciousness, especially apple pie. No home made crusts, just yet - the last time was an utter disaster and the money needed to purchase those ingredients just aren't in my pocket book.

That leads into Thanksgiving. It's right around the corner! Last year I was unable to make my fragging pumpkin pie I'd been looking forward to. I had forgotten the condensed milk at home with no way to get to the market. Pie crust and home-smashed pumpkin puree gone to waste. If the summers apple pie turns out to be a success, I may attempt to do that this year as well as the pecan pie as my pies are delicious, thanks, and just put together a smaller portion of sweet potato casserole than I usually do.

I think I've lost weight since coming to Virginia. Sounds odd but things are fitting better, shirts drape nicer than before. I haven't been exercising a lot (read: at all) but maybe not living right next to two gas stations and a neighborhood Wal-Mart may have something to do with my milder eating habits. If this is the case, awesome. I don't mind losing weight/inches if it's because I'm not eating like a candy-starved piglet anymore.

I miss karate.

Hells bells, I miss writing and the ability to draw properly. Being stuck inside because I lack any social graces isn't helping. I'm tempted to invade Dad's campus and just wander, go to the bookstore or library, chill in the cafeteria and eat there, try to write. I write well in public.

Okay. Werewolf story will be finished by the 15th, it is decided. So there.

Until next time, readers!

Food Om Nom Nom

I'm becoming worried on my eating status. I've started cutting portions and eating better which is, overall, a very good thing. I've gained weight, actually, and can manage to fit into my older jeans - the 6's. It turns out that fat is probably that new ass-muscle that I've been working out, bringing things away from my hips to make me not feel so disgusting.

But, when I'm alone. I don't eat. Most days when I'm alone, I'll eat nothing but granola bars (maybe two) and a lot of tea. That's it. When Mom is home and makes dinner, I'll have some small portions and eat some more the next day, if we have leftovers. I'll eat maybe half of normal restaurant portions, eat the rest the next day, ect. It's not a bad thing. I think. Well, the lack of eating entirely is. I've started eating about an hour and a half, maybe two, before I go to karate. I'd started getting dizzy.

This last weekend, I ate. I went out for sushi, ate lunch with my sister, had pizza with Jordan, things like that. We had food during the 4th of July (a holiday that was much better than expected, actually). That's when I'm with people. Alone, not so much. Without people asking me to eat, I just don't get hungry. It's not something that happens. I get caught up in cleaning or writing, maybe a series I was watching or timing when I can and cannot put my contacts in - Rosetta stone, maybe. Who knows, i just don't think of food.

Today, I had four cups of tea, about two cups of rice + broth, and two slices of toast with a little butter. It was delicious. I drank some water - have more waiting for karate and all that good stuff. I don't think I'm becoming anorexic? I'll eat when asked, I'll eat enough to be full. I take vitamins. Make my own food.

Maybe it's being cloistered up int he house like this. I'm thinking that when I can afford it, I'll fill up my tank, drive as far as I can get on half of it, and park somewhere soft, relaxing, and have my own personal little picnic. Maybe I'll even draw.

I just don't want to keep eating the same deep fried and sugared crap I had been. does this make sense? I'm not quite sure if any of it does.

Either way - I have a swim test for a lifeguard job coming up tomorrow. Tomorrow will be full of light and good for me foods.

Crude. I need to buy a bathing suit.

Not Counting At This Moment!

The weight loss bit has been going badly but! I've gone to every class I can and most of my nasty eating habits are being weaned away. This is one journey for myself I'm refusing to give up.

My lack of updates isn't an indicator at lack of interest. Let us consider it a sign of me being Super Crazy Busy instead: life has thrown at me a job, lack of job, lack of money, karate, too much karate, not enough sleep, not enough time. No time for updating this blog, especially since I don't want to update with a single line of 'life is nuts, will post later'. Not my style! Heh.

Sensei told me that Shihan (her husband) said I impressed him a lot and that I caught on quickly. She said I was from a Tae Kwon Do background but that was for ten months over ten years ago so I seriously don't count it. My balance is horrible, my pushups are just barely the bending of elbows, my kick isn't straight, my punch is too high, I kick with my toes or heel instead of the balls of my foot.

Oh, well. I will be doing my little exercise DVD on the days I don't have class. Despite my gigantic sweet tooth, my happy butt with conquer! And write! And draw! I've been drawing more, perhaps a thing that's led to less updates. It's been keeping me busy and no less happier for it.

Work is keeping me on for an extra two weeks. Two weeks less of unemployment, two weeks more to find a summer job, and two more weeks of honest to god paychecks. Thank goodness for that as the car payments aren't getting cheaper and the car insurance is going to be coming out soon. Guh! My brain is going to explode with the stress. Knock on wood, though. Knock on wood.

Stories have been running through my face. Let's hope they get down on paper. Until next time!

Karate/Weight Loss: Day 7

My steady winter job ends this week. This typically means I go back to my hardware store job and, luckily, it means I can tell them the times I need off for karate! I'm quite excited about that prospect, especially since I will be running around and lifting things all day with only one opportunity to really eat; Summer time is when I loose my weight. Winter I'm in an office setting, on the phone and typing the entire time.

I'm not sure why I'm getting so excited over the simple things like cleaning, exercise, and eating better. A few years back, I completely mocked these things, counted them as 'hippie' things or someone trying to be too green or preppy. Since then, I've started to use a menstrual cup - what the heck is more hippie and green than THAT!?

Now, I wake up, take my vitamins almost immediately. They include a high dose of B12 complex, two green tea extracts twice a day, and (when I can FIND it again) a once-a-day womans vitamin with some Gaurana mixed in there somewhere. Tea consists of natural sugars and soy milk with pure black teas except on the rare days I feel fancy, then it's hinted with peppermint.

Junk food is more of a habit and convenient food than anything I honestly crave. Sometimes I get hit with the overwhelming need to consume large amounts of Starburst Jellybeans because those things are so good it kills me (literally). everything else is all because of cheap and easy texture, something to eat at night when I cannot have any more tea (caffine content, sadly) and fruits just don't seem right. Other than that, things are okay.

The bad part is that I either misread my scale or I gained six pounds since last week. I'm choosing to believe I misread the scale. :) It's better for us all that way.

Karate is going wonderfully! I'm enjoying my kata and I'm learning the godawful long names. All the sempai are horribly helpful and put up with my clumsy mistakes. Bella has nothing on my butt when it comes to tripping over my own feet in turns and just trying to keep balance. My knuckles are becoming tougher, a surprising fact that pleases me. My right toe still has the blister, it's gotten bigger and has begun to toughen into what i hope is a callous. My left toe though... It's the foot I spin on the most. The blister burst but the skin under is quickly becoming stronger than the previous layer.

HA! My body is beginning to triumph!

I have never felt so motivated to be a part of an activity such as Karate. Tae Kwon Do when I was a kid was fun but that was in the mindset that I was about to go kick some other kids behind with my 'skills'. Karate, at least to me now, is about control of my body and what I tell it to do. It's becoming stronger! An adult! It's living up to my and other peoples expectations - Sensei, Y-Sensei, and the sempai are all trying so hard to help me that if I do badly, I feel I would be letting them down.

They are lovely people. I will NOT let them down! I will do my turns and keep my wrists straight, keep my shoulders squared and legs further apart. I will be able to go into the deep stance, the signature move of my dojo. In the famous words of Queen Victoria: I will be good.

Now, I'm going to do laundry and tidy my room before getting ready for class. I need to iron my gi before class tonight.

Until next time!

Karate/Weight Loss/Lack of Being Fat: Day 2

Sore in places I didn't know existed previously. I had all intents of coming home and practicing my kata last night; on the way home, the languid driving, it sapped me of any and all adrenaline. It was sort of disgusting. On that note: I'm glad I didn't. I'm horribly sore today and still feeling that euphoric post-rush, enough to be cleaning like a maniac.

Skin from my big toe and the top of my foot (top of the underside? Hell if I know) peeled off in the duration of class from the extensive turning. My knuckles are forming callouses - haha, well, big red spots with some skin coming off of there as well. Sensei didn't let me stop leaning on them even when I said it hurt. I understood why, even then, but g'damn, it hurt. Yes, it pained me to the extent where I actually swore in a blog post, something I've been trying not to do. Through the course of the night, two elongated oval blisters swelled up on my big toe, dead center of it. Again, from spinning side to side, thumbs are sore from the tight hold I had to have on my fists.

In short, it's still fantastic. I informed Sensei that until I was free Saturday mornings, I would be attending the classes Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. He was pleased.

I'm still having problems with the language. Sensei is American born and Caucasian, despite spending most of his adult life in Japan; his wife is also a black belt, Japanese born and raised. But the names!! Forward front steps with a high punch are called something with long, complicated phrases in Japanese. I'm trying to learn but I still can't pronounce them or even hope to remember them all just yet. Even my kata - Shihonensi Kata? I know 'shihonen' is in there somewhere! I will ask again on Monday.

In the meantime, I will be practicing my kata at home along with squaring my shoulders when I punch or kick, a big problem of mine. I don't place my legs far enough apart or bend my knees enough, my wrists are always up too high, I need to straighten them.I'm hoping by next class I will be able to show Sensei Yuki improvement! I want to be a good student. They're traditionally tough teachers. It. Is. Fantastic.

I need to go and clean now. Until next time!

Karate: Day 1

I have another twenty minutes before I have to hit up the dojo so what better time to make a blog post?

My first Karate class was Monday. I'm starting off at a size 8, 141 lbs, 5'5". My goal is to be 130 lbs and be able to get back into my damned size 6 skinny jeans - I had been able to when I was 132.

On the days I'm not at the Dojo, I'm walking the dogs and trying to exercise at home. All soda and junk food's been cut out of my diet, portions have been made smaller. Depressing, right?! I've even switched to soy milk! (At least, at work. Mom just bought a half gallon of 2% and putting that to waste would make me wince.)

I may go to the Dojo three times a week. Ideally, this will be Monday, Wednesday, and Saturday thing - get some in there for every portion of the week! This week is only Monday and Wednesday as I work Saturday morning (when the class takes place) and was frankly in too much pain to go yesterday. I promised Sensei Yuki that I would be in the class today, which makes me face the pain like a woman: with a smile and perfectly done hair. The severely scraped knee helps too but I'm learning to fall gracefully (read: without killing myself) and to do knuckle-push ups.

She says all the names of the moves in fast Japanese. I find it hard to keep up as my Japanese vocabulary is limited to a few words although it thankfully includes 'arigatou' so I can thank her properly. I don't care if that's spelled correctly or not. She says my ki-yah is fantastic; the other students thought I was her while I practiced my blocking in the back. They were doing katas! Haha!

It's already a favorite part of my week. While it's nerve wracking, being the only person there not knowing what's going down, it's also really fun to be taught things. Some of students are only eleven or twelve; one twelve year old girl turned to me before a certain exercise and said, very frankly, "This is going to hurt."

Fabulous.

Here's to weight loss and getting in shape. Updates on the size/weight will be each Wednesday. Let's see what I can get to before July 3rd! That'll be judgement day for sure as sister and I have a bet going down.

Time to get ready, everyone. Until next time!