Dad officially got the job! Hurrah! He starts April 26th and congratulations are definately in order as of now! Dancing was included - and high-fives.
My previous entries in recent times have been spurred on by emo, something I find distasteful. Ewwwww. It's also been cause for people to worry and mention these things to me outloud. Talking about my feelings isn't a strong point and is something I find highly distasteful (as anyone who has attempted to do this will tell you, O Readers). In fact, avoidance is my favorite way to deal with emotional matters.
THIS blog post, however, is not fueled by emo. It isn't being pressed on by pure joy and candy-farting unicorns but it surely isn't some depressing rant of blah-ness. No, it's brought on by my farting DOG, dear lord ugh.
Moving will be happening. My last class will be ending August 10th, something to lend me plenty of time to prepare. The idea of leaving cape coral is immensely pleasurable to me, although leaving my family and friends that I have down here so close to the holidays will be difficult. The idea of getting my BA in Virginia and returning to Florida just long enough to get a Certification from FSU is present and tempting.
Who knows? Certianly not me.
Summer B means the probability of me going to Vancouver for the fireworks is diminished by great amounts. This is also sad but what can you do? They didn't have the class i needed for Summer A so I take what I can get.
I have a severely TMI post in the works, designing a logo for this silly blog, and have put all of my books in planning and in progress IN ORDER finally oh god; now I have to compile all the notes I have for them before I move so I'm not hauling along ten million binders of absolute crap-tastic notes, half of which are out of date and not relevant to the story now anyway!
There are twelve stories in the planning stages or currently being worked on. One is the designated 'NaNoWriMo Only' book and five or so are my fairy-tale short stories so it's not horrid.
Today was a good day. A busy as hell work week is to follow!
Until next time, O Blog-
Erin
Monday, April 12, 2010
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Well, crud.
I'm not exactly sure what to write here anymore; the move didn't happen and I've been all but isolated. This is the sixth time I've tried to write this post and there are at least three different drafts.
After the car accident, I needed a new car, I needed to get this and that, and I thought I was going to loose my car. Things were bad, I was broke - I am broke, honestly. D stopped talking to me once I was unable to go so, yeah, that's quite fun.
This blog is here, regardless, and that means I will keep posting. This year will be eventful no matter what, even if it doesn't span to California or even outside of my rinky-dink town. My father got a job in Virginia, one he's been waiting for, and he asked me to go with him. Ashley wants me to move into his old place with her and her boyfriend. I don't want to stay home; I love my mother but I honestly think I'd love her more if we didn't live together.
I'm not sure what to do. Escape is clear on the Virginia horizon, it means I can go and get out to live in somewhere far off and beautiful. Ashley needs to escape as well, to get the hell out of her house and get from under her parents thumb... We've been talking as if it is set in stone. Moving with her is safer, moving with Dad is tempting, far too tempting.
Kelly thinks I should go. She hasn't given bad advice since I've known her; she's usually the voice of sanity to my ranting and a pretty shower of calmness whenever I need her to be. But - Ashley.
I can whine and bitch about Ashley and what happens between us but when it all boils down, I am horribly protective of the girl. Her current state of affairs honestly upsets me and this - this is her chance of 'getting out' just as much as it is mine. If we don't, she and her boyfriend can't afford to move out on their own. I'm not sure if *I* can afford to move out period. Time will tell.
A coworker pointed out I was at a fork in the road - how true! Oh woe is me for having more than just one choice on what I can or cannot do. This isn't like moving to California. Moving there was to be with D, so I could live in a place where I wasn't odd or strange and, yes, just getting my lily white butt out of here.
Maybe it'd be easier to just scream, "PEACE" and run to Virginia with my tail between my legs. Correction - it would be.
Does this count as a 'count down' post? Maybe.
Peace, blog. Until the very soon 'next time'-
Erin
After the car accident, I needed a new car, I needed to get this and that, and I thought I was going to loose my car. Things were bad, I was broke - I am broke, honestly. D stopped talking to me once I was unable to go so, yeah, that's quite fun.
This blog is here, regardless, and that means I will keep posting. This year will be eventful no matter what, even if it doesn't span to California or even outside of my rinky-dink town. My father got a job in Virginia, one he's been waiting for, and he asked me to go with him. Ashley wants me to move into his old place with her and her boyfriend. I don't want to stay home; I love my mother but I honestly think I'd love her more if we didn't live together.
I'm not sure what to do. Escape is clear on the Virginia horizon, it means I can go and get out to live in somewhere far off and beautiful. Ashley needs to escape as well, to get the hell out of her house and get from under her parents thumb... We've been talking as if it is set in stone. Moving with her is safer, moving with Dad is tempting, far too tempting.
Kelly thinks I should go. She hasn't given bad advice since I've known her; she's usually the voice of sanity to my ranting and a pretty shower of calmness whenever I need her to be. But - Ashley.
I can whine and bitch about Ashley and what happens between us but when it all boils down, I am horribly protective of the girl. Her current state of affairs honestly upsets me and this - this is her chance of 'getting out' just as much as it is mine. If we don't, she and her boyfriend can't afford to move out on their own. I'm not sure if *I* can afford to move out period. Time will tell.
A coworker pointed out I was at a fork in the road - how true! Oh woe is me for having more than just one choice on what I can or cannot do. This isn't like moving to California. Moving there was to be with D, so I could live in a place where I wasn't odd or strange and, yes, just getting my lily white butt out of here.
Maybe it'd be easier to just scream, "PEACE" and run to Virginia with my tail between my legs. Correction - it would be.
Does this count as a 'count down' post? Maybe.
Peace, blog. Until the very soon 'next time'-
Erin
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
My Notebook Is Too Far Away
So this is t-minus something!
The rain and winds of the crazy South of Florida are just beginning to calm down. I haven't seen it go that crazy since our last hurricane, as it had gotten to the point where I refused to go to the market as I had planned because of the ferocity of the outsides.
So, today, I did absolutely nothing. I got together some laundry, played a little Harvest Moon, paid a bill. My outfit for Chinese New Year is here! And it's all red an lovely. I still need some dollar bills and to clean the house, maybe some purification things.
Otherwise, nothing.
I like it.
The rain and winds of the crazy South of Florida are just beginning to calm down. I haven't seen it go that crazy since our last hurricane, as it had gotten to the point where I refused to go to the market as I had planned because of the ferocity of the outsides.
So, today, I did absolutely nothing. I got together some laundry, played a little Harvest Moon, paid a bill. My outfit for Chinese New Year is here! And it's all red an lovely. I still need some dollar bills and to clean the house, maybe some purification things.
Otherwise, nothing.
I like it.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
T-Minus Thirty Three Days
A car, I has it. After a too-long trip to the dealership on Saturday, I am now in possesion of a 2009 Mitsubishi Galant. It's still the honeymoon period, we're learning all about one another and, in all, I am quite content with it. It only raised my monthly payment a bit. Fingers are crossed, eh?
I don't think I've properly expressed how utterly pissing scared I am of this trip. I've never lived outside of my relatively small ton; my visits to other places have been just that - short trips limited to a few days, maybe a week, but always knowing I have that plane trip back home.
I'm terrified. I don't do things like this! I plan, make lists, plot well ahead of time. This isn't me prepared. This is me in a blind and utter panic, throwing myself into the whirlwind of a whim and clutching to a whisper of a prayer that it'll be okay.
It'd be a lie to say I haven't gotten cold feet. This weekend, since the accident, I've been doubting whether or not I could afford it. If I get hit with a huge financial strike, it may not happen. It's the skin of my teeth but fuck if I'm going to be giving up now. It'd be so much easier to just say, nope, can't do it, and burrow into the warm blanket of life that is my own. Not leaving would mean less stress, less hyperventilating over things I can't change. I'd be loosing less hair.
Maybe.
Staying means the continued circle of everything. While I like my life, it's became the same thing, day in and day out, with small hitches and kinks just enough to throw some spice in there. It's the same job, the same people, the same everything. I've been contented for twenty-three years now. Going to a new place for even one year wouldn't go unloved.
This is something I don't think I'll ever be 'prepared' to do - not until I go and do it myself for this first time.
SO much more to say but I have a lot of things to do. Till next time!
I don't think I've properly expressed how utterly pissing scared I am of this trip. I've never lived outside of my relatively small ton; my visits to other places have been just that - short trips limited to a few days, maybe a week, but always knowing I have that plane trip back home.
I'm terrified. I don't do things like this! I plan, make lists, plot well ahead of time. This isn't me prepared. This is me in a blind and utter panic, throwing myself into the whirlwind of a whim and clutching to a whisper of a prayer that it'll be okay.
It'd be a lie to say I haven't gotten cold feet. This weekend, since the accident, I've been doubting whether or not I could afford it. If I get hit with a huge financial strike, it may not happen. It's the skin of my teeth but fuck if I'm going to be giving up now. It'd be so much easier to just say, nope, can't do it, and burrow into the warm blanket of life that is my own. Not leaving would mean less stress, less hyperventilating over things I can't change. I'd be loosing less hair.
Maybe.
Staying means the continued circle of everything. While I like my life, it's became the same thing, day in and day out, with small hitches and kinks just enough to throw some spice in there. It's the same job, the same people, the same everything. I've been contented for twenty-three years now. Going to a new place for even one year wouldn't go unloved.
This is something I don't think I'll ever be 'prepared' to do - not until I go and do it myself for this first time.
SO much more to say but I have a lot of things to do. Till next time!
Monday, January 25, 2010
T-Minus Forty Four Days
Every so often, a person has a breakdown. I'm not talking of the sort of breakdown that leads to slit wrists and emo tears that leave black, black tear trails as dark as your soul. Those breakdowns don't lead to revelations and thoughts that make a person try to think of things that are beyond their normal conventions.
I believe, truly, that these things have a reason behind them. A rational man will never be able to accuse me of being a religious person; my system of belief doesn't exactly match with those of mainstream religions. 'Dogma' may have been a satire but in that spoof of modern thought processes there is a jewel of wisdom: You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier.
It's true. I like to think of an idea as something formless but still necessary to life, like oxygen. Everyone has ideas, don't you think? Even the most straight laced of Christians have their own ideas and interpretations of the Bible whether they admit it or not.
When beliefs come into play, it tends to come across like a hurricane that fails to die after it leaves the water and goes onto land. They rip down anything in their paths, fully visible to the naked eye and terrifying those who don't go with it. It is terribly, horribly dangerous to go and throw everything that is you into the hurricane. The sheer force will rip you apart.
Then, sometimes, just sometimes, there can be a change in the air. I don't want to say that it's exactly an idea becoming a belief so much as an idea becoming more visible, a strong breeze in the middle of the forest whipping through the leaves just quick enough for you to think you may have seen the light blue of it all.
Never say you can't see the invisible! Just because oxygen doesn't show up when you breathe (winter aside) it doesn't mean that you can't see it. Pretending that the lack of evidence means that the item in question does not exist is simply stupid. There are too many things out there that are unexplainable and unattainable to brush off.
Revelations and breakdowns have a lot in common. Both of them come with emotional walls being kicked down, quite possibly with tears and screaming involved. This isn't always the case, as long as we keep Siddhartha in mind, but they always have a purpose. It can be as simple as the need to vent, to release stress in a manner that doesn't hurt yourself. Other times, it's a way to get in touch with what may or may not be important to you through prayer, pain, pleasure, or any other ways to center a person.
When those breakdowns come, one shouldn't assume they're crazy. Take faith in what your ideas/beliefs may be. Whatever is felt is genuine. Embrace the 'crazy', my loves.
Something good is going to happen.
I believe, truly, that these things have a reason behind them. A rational man will never be able to accuse me of being a religious person; my system of belief doesn't exactly match with those of mainstream religions. 'Dogma' may have been a satire but in that spoof of modern thought processes there is a jewel of wisdom: You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier.
It's true. I like to think of an idea as something formless but still necessary to life, like oxygen. Everyone has ideas, don't you think? Even the most straight laced of Christians have their own ideas and interpretations of the Bible whether they admit it or not.
When beliefs come into play, it tends to come across like a hurricane that fails to die after it leaves the water and goes onto land. They rip down anything in their paths, fully visible to the naked eye and terrifying those who don't go with it. It is terribly, horribly dangerous to go and throw everything that is you into the hurricane. The sheer force will rip you apart.
Then, sometimes, just sometimes, there can be a change in the air. I don't want to say that it's exactly an idea becoming a belief so much as an idea becoming more visible, a strong breeze in the middle of the forest whipping through the leaves just quick enough for you to think you may have seen the light blue of it all.
Never say you can't see the invisible! Just because oxygen doesn't show up when you breathe (winter aside) it doesn't mean that you can't see it. Pretending that the lack of evidence means that the item in question does not exist is simply stupid. There are too many things out there that are unexplainable and unattainable to brush off.
Revelations and breakdowns have a lot in common. Both of them come with emotional walls being kicked down, quite possibly with tears and screaming involved. This isn't always the case, as long as we keep Siddhartha in mind, but they always have a purpose. It can be as simple as the need to vent, to release stress in a manner that doesn't hurt yourself. Other times, it's a way to get in touch with what may or may not be important to you through prayer, pain, pleasure, or any other ways to center a person.
When those breakdowns come, one shouldn't assume they're crazy. Take faith in what your ideas/beliefs may be. Whatever is felt is genuine. Embrace the 'crazy', my loves.
Something good is going to happen.
Friday, January 22, 2010
T-Minus Forty Seven Days
Yesterday was fantastic! Mom was healing well from her surgery, I was able to get a very nice, very cheap but expensive looking two piece suit for interviews, and work went well. Then came the car accident.
I rear ended someone so as far as the state of Florida is concerned, I am at fault. Luckily, the woman is just fine (I don't think she was wearing her seat belt) and her car, a gigantic pick up truck, was only scratched. Everything that happened to her is purely plastic.
My car on the other hand has a crumbled hood, a burst radiator, the glass in the lights are out (although they still work, oddly enough). The gentleman at the repair shop said it looked worse than it actually is. I'm not hurt at all, just sore, tired, and cranky. The police officer looked as if he didn't want to give me the citation but, again, according to the state the crash was my fault.
It happened in rush hour. The other woman and I weren't going fast at all (I was barely clocking thirty eight). We were both slowing down in order to go into the turn lane that had been coming up. It was a bit stop and go, so I was getting even further back than one 'normally' would in the situation. Had it continued to be stop and go, we would have been fine, nothing would have happened.
However, she stopped cold. I'm talking her foot went to the floor, she stopped dead in the road. My foot slammed down as well. I had two choices in the span of five seconds: swerve and hit her still, ripping a huge hole in my car and go over a huge concrete hump, possibly going into a deep crevice or hit her straight on.
I hit her straight on. Hindsight, had I swerved, my car would have been worse off and I could very possibly been hurt very badly, even with my seat belt securely in place.
My parents showed up and once the status was put on my Facebook I received no less than three phone calls and multiple text messages/IMs. When checking my DeviantArt, there were four comments complimenting the short I had just posted. All of that made the day better.
Today, Dad and I went to the insurance company, repair shop, we filed our claim and put through my new registration. I was grumpy as hell, despite having passed out at an extremely early time and dozing for about three hours throughout the night. I'm better now, having ingested tea and gotten back into my home.
Poor Minion. We're still finding out what's going to be going down with that.
That said, I'm still planning on an Etsy account, depending on what sort of shipping options I can find. The one I used to get Beth her stuff STILL hasn't arrived and thus I dislike it. Her reaction will tell me if I can or cannot pull it off. Love you madly, Beth! :D Be a picky creature with them.
It's been suggested I put up my paypal account up. I'm not expecting jack from anyone, feel no obligation, but the person who suggested reads this and would get grumpy if I didn't do it. :P My paypal account address is nozomi_ga_kanau@hotmail.com If someone DOES decide to throw a few sheckles, call it a 'gift'.
See you all later. Hope everyone has a better weekend than myself! Heh.
I rear ended someone so as far as the state of Florida is concerned, I am at fault. Luckily, the woman is just fine (I don't think she was wearing her seat belt) and her car, a gigantic pick up truck, was only scratched. Everything that happened to her is purely plastic.
My car on the other hand has a crumbled hood, a burst radiator, the glass in the lights are out (although they still work, oddly enough). The gentleman at the repair shop said it looked worse than it actually is. I'm not hurt at all, just sore, tired, and cranky. The police officer looked as if he didn't want to give me the citation but, again, according to the state the crash was my fault.
It happened in rush hour. The other woman and I weren't going fast at all (I was barely clocking thirty eight). We were both slowing down in order to go into the turn lane that had been coming up. It was a bit stop and go, so I was getting even further back than one 'normally' would in the situation. Had it continued to be stop and go, we would have been fine, nothing would have happened.
However, she stopped cold. I'm talking her foot went to the floor, she stopped dead in the road. My foot slammed down as well. I had two choices in the span of five seconds: swerve and hit her still, ripping a huge hole in my car and go over a huge concrete hump, possibly going into a deep crevice or hit her straight on.
I hit her straight on. Hindsight, had I swerved, my car would have been worse off and I could very possibly been hurt very badly, even with my seat belt securely in place.
My parents showed up and once the status was put on my Facebook I received no less than three phone calls and multiple text messages/IMs. When checking my DeviantArt, there were four comments complimenting the short I had just posted. All of that made the day better.
Today, Dad and I went to the insurance company, repair shop, we filed our claim and put through my new registration. I was grumpy as hell, despite having passed out at an extremely early time and dozing for about three hours throughout the night. I'm better now, having ingested tea and gotten back into my home.
Poor Minion. We're still finding out what's going to be going down with that.
That said, I'm still planning on an Etsy account, depending on what sort of shipping options I can find. The one I used to get Beth her stuff STILL hasn't arrived and thus I dislike it. Her reaction will tell me if I can or cannot pull it off. Love you madly, Beth! :D Be a picky creature with them.
It's been suggested I put up my paypal account up. I'm not expecting jack from anyone, feel no obligation, but the person who suggested reads this and would get grumpy if I didn't do it. :P My paypal account address is nozomi_ga_kanau@hotmail.com If someone DOES decide to throw a few sheckles, call it a 'gift'.
See you all later. Hope everyone has a better weekend than myself! Heh.
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